Becoming the Right Person

"There is a risk involved in the marriage process, but the essential element is not so much finding the right person as it is becoming the right person." (19) H. Normal Wright, Premarital Counseling


In what ways are you dependent upon your partner?

How are you expecting your future spouse to enhance your self-esteem?

"It has stuck us that many couples were involved in the task of finding some way to initiate growth.  The growth could be in many areas.  Perhaps it was in becoming more outgoing, more self-confident, more intimate, or some other dimension of their personality that they felt needed expansion.  THey mate they chose, therefore, from the millions of individuals available was exactly the person who could provide them with the kind of growth they needed... It almost seems to us that couples in some way find each other and choose each other on the basis of their potential to induce change.  It is as if couples are in a strange way performing the task of therapy.
" All os this is a way of saying that we believe that marriage is purposeful and that couples choose each other on the basis of the ability of the other person to help them initiate growth.  We think that couples are involved in a task of healing.  It is as if many individuals at the point of fating and moving to marriage find themselves to be incomplete in some way.  Their search for a mater is not haphazard but rather based on some kind of deeply intuitive homing device that relentlessly and purposefully pursues exactly the kind of person who will provide them with the stimulation for the growth they are seeking.  It is amazing how powerful that homing device can be.  " - Robert F. Stahmann and WIlliam J. Hiebert (26 of Wright)

"The more insecure a person is, the greater is his need for idealizing his partner." (27)

Ephesians 4:2 "Because we love one another, we are willing to make allowances for one another."